Never Say What You Really Mean
by Writer With Sprite
Summary: A seemingly well-meaning substitute teacher misinterprets one of Alex's English assignments. After alerting the principal and the nurse, the school decides to take action on it. Can you say Children's Services, anyone? COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Never Say What You Really Mean

Summary: A well-meaning substitute teacher misinterprets one of Alex's English assignments. After alerting the principal and the nurse, they decide to get take action on it. Can you say Children's Services, anyone?

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A/n: Inspired by _Kerowyn Van'Seph__'s _review to _The_ _Ten Things I Fear_. Would probably make more sense to read that one first, but you certainly don't have too. I estimate this to be about three to four chapters.

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The substitute teacher groaned as she looked at the overwhelming pile of papers that had appeared on her desk. "You've got to be kidding me," the teacher said. His face showed clear opposition to the idea. "I'm supposed to grade _these_?"

"Yeah. You only have one class to teach today, so it shouldn't be too difficult." With that, the other teacher was out of the door in a flash, relieved to be out of the room. She would be really glad when Benjamin, the other English teacher, was back. He was so much nicer. Although she really had no idea why the kids called him "Fox."

Slipping out of the door, she exhaled and breathed a sigh of relief. She really did not like that substitute.

_Hopefully, he would get better soon…_

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The substitute teacher frowned as he turned over the list of papers. "The ten biggest things I fear? Dude, what on earth?" he muttered, glancing at the list. "Okay…."

He graded through the first few assignments, stopping when he saw the name _Alex Rider_. Now why did that sound so familiar?

He quickly skimmed through the list.

_Number One:_

"_I'd have to say my tenth fear, going in order from least phobic to most phobic, would have to be Wolf. That guy can be seriously scary when he hasn't had his caffeine. I'm sure you know this, Fox, because you were in the unit with him…"_

The teacher's first thought was that Wolf had been an animal. Now it seemed to be something different. He frowned once more, re-reading the entire paragraph. Wolf looked to be a person. What did the person mean by Fox being in the unit with him?

It was then when he realized where he recognized the name Alex Rider. Fox was Alex Rider's foster parent. Well, adopted parent, he quickly amended. The previous teacher had made a huge stink about it, and Fox had patiently requested – from what he was told, anyway – that the teacher not teach any of his subjects again.

Skimming down the next few, he read, _"Arrhenphobia. I don't really have the fear of men, but I do have the fear of some men. This fear will be used up on Eagle. You live with Eagle, so I think that's enough said right there."_

That made the teacher frown. Okay, so Eagle was a person, too. The kid was afraid of Eagle, whom his guardian lived with. It didn't make sense. Was he in some sort of a… relationship with the man? Or did he just live with him?

Why was Alex afraid of him?

Troubled, the substitute considered this. This was something that no doubt needed to be addressed. He sighed and finished reading the assignment, willing for some "ha-ha, got you, just kidding." He just didn't like the vibe he was getting from this.

He continued reading down the list, each time getting just a little bit more anxious. He knew that it was stupid, and that he was probably just stressing, but he couldn't help it. He wondered if maybe there was more going on to Alex Rider than anyone knew.

Scanning down the list, he was surprised to see the name _Eagle _jump out so many times.

That wasn't good… was it?

_5. Aulophobia: Fear of flutes. Okay, it sounds weird, but I've had to listen to Eagle play a flute, and I think that is more than__enough__said on this subject._

The teacher didn't really care about the flute thing; for him, it was that the name "Eagle" came up again.

Who was Eagle? Why wasn't the kid referring to Eagle by his real name? Was he worried about his guardian's reaction, or something else entirely? He didn't know the whole story. Frowning, he thought, _what if his guardian was in a domestic relationship with this man, and he didn't want to use his real name because of backlash?_

Now this one I actually _do_ have a fear of. I really would be SOL if I got amnesia. I suspect Eagle would tease me, Wolf and Tom would team up to blackmail me, you would try and rescue me, and Blunt would attempt to use me.

There were the names Wolf and Eagle again. Stretching, the teacher sighed, his eyes flashing down to the last one:

_Eicophobia: Fear of home surroundings. I really do have this, but don't worry, it's only when Eagle's over._

_Oh, wait, I forgot, Eagle lives there!_

So "Eagle," whoever this mysterious character was, did live in the home. The teacher checked his watch. He still had about three hours until his only class. It was time to talk to the school nurse.

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"I don't think you have anything to worry about with Alex Rider and his current guardian," the nurse responded as he told her his fears.

"What's his current guardian's name?" he responded, pointedly ignoring her statement. He didn't think it was the boy's guardian he was worried about.

"Benjamin. But everyone calls him Ben or Fox," the nurse replied. "Why?"

The teacher showed her Alex's paper. He'd been careful to make a copy of it so that the original one couldn't be sequestered. "See all these times he mentions 'Eagle' as one of his fears? I'm not kosher with it. Do you know if this Eagle has a real name?"

The nurse frowned. "No, I don't. I can pull his medical records, we have them at the school, but really, he's a good kid."

"A good kid who sounds like he's in trouble," the man responded.

"Personally, I think you're overreacting, but that's just me," the woman responded. She was new to the school, and had only seen Alex with his current guardian. She thought they were great together. She really liked how much he cared for the boy.

Frowning, she flickered open Alex's medical records.

Together, the two scanned the documents, frowning. "Look at this picture," the man said, pulling out one of Alex's files from a recent date. Michael Knight had not taken kindly to Alex calling him gay and had beaten him up behind the bleachers. The bruising was a result of that. The incident, however, had never been reported and documented by the nurse, even though Alex had mentioned it to the principal and Michael Knight had been expelled by it.

"I remember that. I was there that day, and I never got a reason over it." The nurse turned towards the teacher. "I think you might be onto something. Let's get Principal José in here. If this is a serious case, we're going to want all the documentation we can get."

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Meanwhile, at Alex's house, Fox yawned, trying to get some sleep. He had been hit really bad by the case of the flu and had actually ended up calling off for a week. He was abruptly awakened by Eagle looking at him.

"What?" he groaned. He felt miserable.

"I'm leaving now."

Reaching half-heartedly for the water canister next to his bed, Fox grabbed it and chucked it at him. "Yeah, sure. Don't wake me up next time."

Eagle jumped to avoid the well-aimed target. "See you later," he responded, closing the door. Wow. Fox sure was cranky.

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Principal José hadn't been impressed with the pictures. While he wasn't mad at the teacher and the nurse, he was worried about one of his students. He had been the principal at the time when Alex was still going on missions with MI6, and he knew what had been involved then. He knew that Alex had recently been awarded to a new guardian (he hated using the word 'awarded' about a kid), and he had high hopes that this would be better than Alex's previous custody battle.

After conversing with the staff in general, the principal decided to call Alex Rider down to the principal's office. Five minutes later, Alex Rider was there, sporting Tom Harris, who was attached to his side.

"Tom. You have class. Go," Alex ordered, standing at the principal's door.

"But I want to hear what you're in trouble for!"

"Trust me, you and the whole school will know soon enough. Just go, alright?" Alex all but shoved his friend out the door before sinking in the chair in the principal's office. He was alarmed to see both the nurse and another man he didn't know there.

"Alex," the principal said, pulling out his folder from the nurse's office, "We're concerned about you, here.'

Alex buried his face in his hands. "Why? What did I do this time? I've been staying out of trouble!"

"Take a deep breath, Alex," the nurse encouraged. He shot her a scathing look. "It's not about you getting in trouble. It's pertaining your medical history and one of your assignments."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, now fully alert. He knew the insinuations that the woman before had made, and did not like where this was going one bit.

"Alex," the substitute teacher said, leaning in, "Are you being abused by your guardian's domestic partner?"

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The next bit will be up in a day or two!

Challenge: How far will they go with their theory?


	2. Chapter 2

The substitute was halfway down the hall when he realized where he'd seen the name before. Alex Rider. Oh, Alex Rider; how he hated him. He was responsible for the arrest of nearly half the men in Scorpia. The substitute had been lucky enough to flee before he'd gotten arrested.

Now, Alex Rider was here. At school. And he might be being abused by his guardian's partner. The substitute teacher smirked. With a little 'evidence', he could totally tweak this situation his way.

The substitute teacher picked up his phone. "Hey, James? You know how you have someone in children's services? Well, I need your help…"

Maybe this would be a way to get their hands on Alex Rider once and for all.

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><p>Alex Rider was not a happy camper. Oh, Fox was so going to be pissed about this; he just knew it. Tom Harris would have a field day. He himself was about to have a meltdown. Why on earth did the nurse think he was being abused by Eagle – all because of some dumb assignment? It wasn't like Alex was terrified of Eagle, or anything; he just made those jokes. Hell, everyone who had ever met Eagle made those jokes.<p>

Eagle lived for those sorts of jokes. Quite frankly, Eagle said, he liked being the but of the joke as long as he was able to get some sort of attention that way.

If he were here right now, he'd probably be laughing right along with Alex, and saying no, he obviously didn't abuse the kid. Alex groaned softly to himself, wishing that either Fox or Eagle was here. They'd stop him from being alone with the crazy, psycho nurse, and the crazy, psycho principal.

So why now, after years of jokes, would one substitute start taking those jokes seriously? It just didn't add up. Not liking where this was going, Alex sighed as he diligently took off his shirt as the nurse asked him too – and winced.

The bruise he'd gotten from playing baseball with Eagle, Tom Harris, and Wolf was plainly on his chest. He'd forgotten to mention it to the nurse, and it looked nasty. Shit. There was no good way to get out of this.

Fox was going to kill him…

Or, if he wasn't going to kill him, he'd kill Eagle.

Either way, someone's blood would probably shed when he got home tonight. Alex just hoped it wouldn't be his.

"Where did that come from?" the nurse demanded.

_What did he say_? Knowing he needed to be quick on the uptake, Alex responded, "Eagle – his real name is David, by the way; - Eagle, Tom Harris and I, we were playing softball, and I was sliding into home base. Eagle didn't see where I was, and he ran smack into me." Shit. That wasn't going to look good on Eagle, at all, but what else could he say?

"Why do you call him Eagle? Does he not let you call him David?" _Why does it matter to you, lady? No, I can call him David all I want, it's just easier to call him Eagle! David just sounds way too serious for the man. _

"What, are you going to mark him as abusive if he doesn't want me to call him David?" Alex snapped, realizing instantly that was the exact wrong thing to say. "I mean – no. Look, you know Fox has an army background, right? Fox, Eagle, Wolf, and Snake were all apart of a unit. They still call each other by their code names."

"And you're not allowed to call them by their actual names?" the nurse responded as she checked the bruise. "Well, you're lucky; nothing appears to be broken. What's this hand print here?"

"I was running through the hall, Tom grabbed me to me slow down," Alex responded with a shrug.

The examination continued, and finally, the nurse was almost ready to let him go. Alex breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to get out of here and talk to Fox. Or to Tom Harris, although if he talked to Tom Harris, he had a nagging suspicion that half the school would know. He didn't really care at this point.

He just wanted out of there.

The principal stuck his head in the room, glancing at Alex's bruise on his chest and wincing. He then turned his head towards the nurse. "Nurse Jensen? I'd like to talk to you."

"Coming," the nurse responded, glancing at Alex with a glare. "And don't you dare leave, young man!"

"Why would I do that?" Alex grumbled angrily, looking at the nurse. _Why did they want to keep him? That couldn't be good, could it? _

_What the hell was going on here? _

_And why did he have such a bad feeling about this?  
><em>

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><p>"I'm so sorry that I didn't get here sooner," the CPS worker said. She was dressed in a blue t-shirt and a gray skirt. Her hair was firmly combed. "Here are the files you've requested on Alex Rider. We've been working with his guardian for awhile now."<p>

"We're not as worried about his guardian as we are about his guardian's partner," the principal responded. "The guardian is someone who works for our school. I believe the kids call him 'Fox,' although his actual name is Ben."

"I wasn't aware that the guardian had a domestic partner," the children's services worker responded. "I'll have to make note of that. Have you had a chance to talk to Benjamin yet?"

"No," the nurse replied. "If Alex is being abused by his partner, we don't want to tip off his partner."

"What were your feelings after examining him, Nurse Jinkies?" the principal asked.

"I didn't look at him much," the nurse responded, "but he did have a hand-shaped bruise on his shoulder, supposedly from one of his friends, and he had a large bruise covering his middle torso."

The worker wrote something down on her clipboard. "Where did he get it from? Do you know?"

"He told me he got it in a game with one of his friends and the mysterious Eagle."

"Ah, you mean David," the CPS worker said with a smile. Then she frowned. "You think Eagle is abusing Alex Rider?"

"Yes," the principal said, handing her over yet another copy of Alex Rider's English paper. "See all of the mentions to 'Eagle' here? Do you know why he doesn't address him by name?"

"Well, my understanding is that Fox, Snake, Eagle, and Wolf are all friends. Wolf an Snake live separately from Fox and Eagle, but they all used to be part of an SAS unit. Have you considered that Eagle _isn't_ Benjamin's domestic partner? I don't think Benjamin likes men that way. Although I'm willing to admit that I've been wrong on things like that before."

"We are willing. Right now, we're not worried so much about whether or not Ben is dating Eagle, we're more worried about whether or not Alex Rider is being abused by Eagle."

"Eagle's name is David," the CPS worker said. "Well, let's compare notes, shall we? Then we can see if there's any evidence to this claim. Where's Alex Rider?"

"In the nurse's office," the principal responded.

"Keep him there for now," the CPS worker said.

Neither the principal nor the nurse realized that the CPS worker hadn't been the same one as before. And certainly neither of them had any idea that this CPS worker was an undercover plant from Scorpia.

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><p>Challenge:<p>

Will Scorpia be able to remove Alex Rider from his home with Fox?

When will Fox and Eagle realize what's going on?

Read and review! Thanks for the amazing response so far. More Alex in the next chappie, I promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Eagle groaned as he awoke out of his sleep. Normally, he didn't go to sleep during the middle of the day, and thanks to Brecon Beacons, hadn't gone to sleep before midnight since… well, he couldn't really remember when. He groaned as he dug for his phone. It wasn't on the desk, it wasn't on the table…

He slid off of his bed, and then finally found it, way under his bed. He'd have to remember to thank Cub for that later. There was one thing that Fox had convinced Eagle of, and that was that he never, ever wanted kids. If this was how they were at fifteen, (of course, it wasn't like Cub was a prime example or anything of what normal was), then he really didn't want to go through the messy, smelly, baby stage yet.

No desire.

Flipping open his phone, he groggily answered, hoping he wasn't coming down with what Fox had. "Eagle," he mumbled, then blinked twice.

"It's Cub." _Well, shit_. "I need you to come to school and do some… explaining… to my teachers. Or Fox. Is Fox even conscious?"

"I don't know," Eagle said, pulling on his socks. Good thing he'd crashed in his jeans. He made his way towards the bedstand. "What's going on?"

"They're threatening to put me in children's services because they think you're Fox's domestic partner and that you're abusing me."

"You better have a hell of a good story to explain that one," Eagle said, but there was no response from Cub; he simply hung up. Eagle sighed, placed the phone in his blue cell phone holder, clipped that to his pocket, and dragged a blue shirt out from his drawer.

Throwing on his black Nikes, he made his way for Fox's room as he grabbed his brown jacket. It was cold as hell outside (okay, well, it wasn't quite as cold as Brecon Beacons, but that was another story for another day), and he made his way to where Fox's bedroom was.

"Fox, you up?" He knocked on the door. There was nothing, so he opened it, mostly to check and make sure Fox was still alive. When Eagle heard Fox snoring from the doorway, he went over, felt Fox's forehead (still warm), and sighed.

He scribbled a note on the paper that Fox had continently left laying around on the kitchen table. _'Gone to get Cub, back soon.' _

Or at least, he hoped.

Twenty minutes later, he was at Cub's school already. He was not amused to be back in high school, and he made a mental note to shoot the kid for this to get him straightened out. He knocked on the principal's office.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up…" he had to stop himself from blurting out 'Cub'. "Alex Rider," he said. "He called me and asked me to pick him up."

"…And you are?" the principal asked, looking at Eagle suspiciously.

"I'm Fox's roommate, sir. Dylan," he said, offering his hand.

"Is your nickname Eagle?" the principal asked, not taking Eagle's hand. Eagle raised an eyebrow, lowered his hand, and nodded.

"We'd like to talk to you."

Okay, forget straightening the kid out. The fastest way to work efficiently would be to strangle the kid.

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Alex Rider groaned as he looked at Tom. "I'm going to castrate someone," he growled. The teen had come over after his final class of the day was done, ditching study hall.

"They still haven't let you back in your class yet, huh?" Tom responded with a wicked grin. "Man, why can't I have your problem?"

Alex whacked Tom on the head. "Because you wouldn't want it," he responded. Then the voice called, "Alex Rider, to the office. Alex Rider, to the office."

"Case in point," Alex grumbled. "Now go and go to study hall before they decide the same fate for you."

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It was with heavy shoes that Alex Rider made his way over to the office. He was going to shoot his 'substitute' teacher. Or at least find some way to extract retribution on him, somehow.

Alex sighed as he looked at the secretary. "I was paged?"

"Yeah, Cub." Eagle was sitting next to the principal. "You could've texted a little sooner."

"He could've called a little sooner," Alex responded, not feeling much sympathy for Eagle. _"Dylan,_" he added.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Eagle responded, turning to the principal, the look on his face completely serious, "There are two things here. Number one: I'm a prankster. I'll admit it. Yes, Alex is sometimes afraid of me – as he should be, _right after he put a water balloon in my bed_. However, I've never physically hurt Alex, and I'm stunned at the audacity that you think I'd hurt a minor in Fox's care."

"How do you explain the bruises on his torso?" the principal responded, even though he knew what had happened there.

"I think a better question," Eagle said coldly, _"_Would be why_ you _didn't know about the bruises on Alex's torso. I was the one who came that day to pick him up. Technically, right now, I could sue you for improper documentation or something like that, right? Or maybe for the bullying incident on the playground, where my friend's kid was beat up?"

The mention of the word "sue" was distinct enough to make the principal look uncomfortable. "I was just checking to see…"

Alex had to bite back the comment he wanted to make about being impressed that Eagle could choose words with more than four letters in them to use. Now wasn't the time. When they were at home, however…

"You also failed to mention that you called Children's Services, and you had my friend's son searched _without his consent or Ben's _permission," Eagle said. Alex grinned inwardly. He didn't know Eagle could be this wicked in verbal debates; maybe that was why he kept winning in debates at Wolf - he could pull random things out of his hat and somehow make them make sense.

"We were occupying under uncertain circumstances."

"I think you mean 'uncertain' as in 'unethical'," Eagle growled. He stood up. "Look, I'm taking Alex home with me. If you want to press charges, I'll be glad to give you the number for my attorney."

"That won't be necessary." The principal rose. "We were not aware of Fox's sexual orientation when we hired him, but rest assured—"

Eagle turned towards the principal. "This _incident_," he growled, doing a perfect imitation of Wolf, "had better be swept under the carpet and not mentioned once. Fox's sexual orientation, even if he was gay, was none of your business. It still isn't, actually, and neither is my sexual orientation." Eagle's voice was cold. "I believe there's such a thing called sexual discrimination, correct?"

"I was just saying…"

"Stop while you're ahead." Eagle picked up his keys and nodded towards Alex. "Come on, Cub, we're done here. Let's go home."

Except that Eagle didn't realize they weren't done there, because there was still Scorpia to deal with. But that could be dealt with at another time.

The two walked out to the car, and Eagle exhaled slowly. "I'm not even sure I want to know what happened, and why these charges came about. Then again, I think I need to. But you can talk to me when Fox is feeling better – like, not puking better."

"Yippie," Alex said, sliding into the passenger seat of Eagle's car. "Give me something to look forward too."

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So, your challenge: One more chapter, or finish here?

What's Scorpia going to do, if anything?

What will Fox say?


	4. Chapter 4

Fox groaned as he awoke, looking at Eagle, who was leaning on the brown desk he had. "Hey," Eagle said, breathing a sigh of relief, "It's great to see that you are awake."

"I have a sudden feeling I'm going to regret this conversation. Is it something that can wait until my head stops spinning?"

"Nope," Eagle said cheerfully, going into the bathroom and flipping on the light switch. Although they all joked about Eagle's medical capabilities, each SAS man knew he was highly intelligent.

Only Fox knew his uni degree was in medicine, and that was why he was an actual nurse. He had never wanted to increase his degree like Snake, though, who was studying to be a doctor.

_"We see enough death on the field – I don't want it to be on my table."_

He came back with Fox's prescription painkiller and a glass of water.

"You're being nice to me," Fox responded in a husky voice as he took the said glass of water in his hands. "That worries me."

Eagle allowed a grin to stretch fully across his face. "What if I told you there was nothing to worry about."

"Eagle, you got me _pain killers_. You got me a glass of _water_. Without being _prompted_. I'm going to ask once before I castrate your body and leave it to silence: What. Happened? And did it have to do with Alex at all?"

"Yes, it had to do with Alex; no, he didn't get kidnapped, killed, or otherwise hurt; yes, the school was involved, yes, MI6 took care of it quite nicely."

"What happened in the five hours I was unconscious, Eagle?" Fox said, feeling better enough to stand upright.

"Five hours? Dude, you were unconscious for almost seventy-two with little breaks off and on. I was about to take you into the hospital."

Fox sent him a murderous glare. "You know that I hate hospitals with a passion – why would you _think _about sending me to one of them?'

"Because you were _out_, dude."

"Back to the topic – don't think I didn't notice you changing it, Eagle. I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were."

"Then let me know what happened."

"The school had a teacher grade Alex's homework assignments."

Fox buried his face in his hands. "Again?" he asked, his voice almost a wailing tone. "The whole classes', right? But they stopped on Alex's?"

"Yup."

"Dear God, I am going to kick them all in the – never mind. Just tell me what they said."

"It's not so much a matter of what they said as what happened."

"Tell me."

"Fox, they think you're gay."

Dead silence. Neither man moved.

If this had been the movies, this would have been the part where one of them burst out laughing and accused the other of silence.

Fox paused, looking at Eagle. "Tell me you're kidding."

"Well, technically they could think you're bisexual. Or I suppose-"

Fox slapped Eagle on the back of the head. "Get to the point of why they think I'm gay or bisexual is important."

"Because they think I'm your dating partner and they think that because Alex wrote in his papers that he was afraid of me that I was abusing him."

"Oh, for the love of G-" At that, Alex stepped in the room.

"Come on, Fox. You always tell me not to say that." He glanced at Eagle. "Is it safe now?"

"No. Go back to your room."

Alex sulked. "I'm not some child. I've faced a Man-O-War, I can face down Fox."

"When he's more coherent," Eagle agreed.

Alex put on a pouty face.

"And when you're not _acting _like you're a child."

Another face and Alex gently closed the door.

"What happened?" Fox asked. While Eagle was grateful for the interruption it was clear that Fox had not been.

"I just told you. They accused me of abusing Alex and they were about two seconds from having Children's Services shoved down your throat."

"Lovely. Did MI6 take care of it?"

"Yes. And I implied that under no uncertain terms that you were gay or bisexual."

"Or that you were."

"Exactly." Eagle stretched a little bit. "I'll let you go back to sleep now."

"Sure, thanks. And Eagle, do me a favor?" Fox responded. "For the love of God, don't scare Alex so much that he has to write about it in a report. Alright?"

"I'm sorry, I can't promise that."

Fox smacked Eagle with a pillow as the SAS man hit the door.

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><p>Ah, sorry for the long wait for the update. But you should really thank <span>Nightmareworld <span>for reminding me that this story even needed updating at all…


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